Monday, April 27, 2015

Mr. Egyptian, You Are A GodDamn Liar

I have now finished 9 right unilateral brain scramblings courtesy of the fine folks at Seton Shoal Creek. Today was supposed to be bilateral but they did one last unilateral so wednesday will be the first double jolt I guess. There has been no discernable change in my mood as of yet. The biggest change is big chunks of memory gone, especially over this past weekend. I had to go back and piece together this past weekend through emails, texts and facebook posts.  There are chunks of shit just kind of floating around out there. My friend Mookie pretty much took care of me this past weekend. She took me to my appointment today so got to see my loopy ass post shock. She also came and got me and we went to see the latest Furious muscle head movie which really is the perfect movie to go to when your brains are scrambled because there really is not much worth remembering anyway.  Someone gets killed, revenge is sought, shit blows up, someone gets the shit kicked out of them, old action star has extended cameo, some more shit blows up, good guys win. Of course, one of the franchise stars literally ate a concrete post midway through filming and had to be cgied into finish the movie. The movie was basically just one long car chase with a fist fight thrown in from time to time. There was some fitting tribute for Paul Walker at the end. At least I think there was, The whole thing is kind of scrambled. I assume there will be a number 8. My mom is actually a big fan of these type of movies. She is particularly a fan of Jason Statham, Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson, and Vin Diesel. She does not miss anything with those guys in it, I think the Transporter movies are among her favorites of the genre.

I am a fan of that kind of stuff as well, not as much as her, but I can always count on a report/review of the latest cgi extravaganza. This is where I depart from the fanboy bit though. I will always prefer 70's style Frankenheimer, Ronin for example. And whenever Bullitt shows at the Paramount in Downtown Austin, I will generally go to it. Give me choreographed vehicular mayhem anytime over computer generated green screen flotsam.  That is why I will be seeing the new Mad Max Fury Road when it comes out in a couple of weeks as quickly as possible. Tom Hardy as Max, Charlize Theron in the tough girl role, and this guy:

Hugh Keays-Byrne:
he played the ToeCutter in the original Mad Max and as this is George Miller's re-visioning of his brain child, he's back. I am thinking that from seeing the previews, that George is paying more attention to The Road Warrior and not that goofy Thunderdome silliness staring Tina Turner's Hair Did. Anyway, this movie has been floating around out there for quite  while and I am going to go out on a limb and say its gonna be excellent.

OK-thats my tale of woe...chunks of disappeared memories...and Mad Max is coming....

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Better Science Through Guessing

I don't even know what to write at the moment. I am 8 sessions in to ECT and have not had any measurable positive effect. All my sessions have been Right Unilateral so far. This means that they are shooting the electricity into the right side of my brain. They have done this 8 times now...a couple more like this and then then they start going through both sides of my brain, bilateral. I am just going to assume that is where we are heading as nothing seems to be catching on so far. Where is the science behind this? It really is just kind of a wild ass guess, it works, just not real sure how. The following is from The University of Michigan Health System:

Electroconvulsive therapy involves applying a brief electrical pulse to the scalp while the patient is under anesthesia. This pulse excites the brain cells causing them to fire in unison and produces a seizure.

EEG Seizure Activity

EEG Seizure Termination
The specific reason for the positive action of ECT is unknown, but this treatment appears to have many effects. There are multiple theories to explain why ECT is effective. One theory suggests that the seizure activity itself causes an alteration of the chemical messengers in the brain known as neurotransmitters. Another theory proposes that ECT treatments adjust the stress hormone regulation in the brain, which may affect energy, sleep, appetite, and mood.

See, its PFM (Pure Fucking Magic). I personally really do not care how it works, just that it does. I am sick of being despondent and sad for most of my working hours. C'mon magical science. There is a ton of debate on either side of the shock/no shock equation, go figure.  A lot of folks think it is barbaric and should not ever be allowed.  I feel I should point out that I am a 100%  willing participant and gladly climb up on that table and get put under 3 times a week and have the electrodes scramble my brain.

Follow this link to hear from a guy who is anti ECT : ECT no bueno

I am generally fatigued and cranky and am still lining up a ride for tomorrow so I think I am going to shut this down for now, clean the hovel and take Luna out for a jaunt in the creek beds.

more to follow as the saying goes...

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Tripod and The Benevolent Gnome

These are comic book facsimiles of The Benevolent Gnome and her sidekick, Tripod, the Therapy Bear. They will be the first t-shirts offered by the DAM DogRanch Uniform works sometime in the future.

Monday, April 20, 2015

X Nausea

All This Electricity is Making me Nauseous...

One of the pleasant side effects (i.e: a shitty side effect I do not like at all) is the nausea that goes along with the knockout drugs they give me before they zap me. I wake up feeling dizzy and crappy. I then get wheeled  out to the parking lot by the young British kid who works there. My friend Michael gave me a ride today. So far, Michael, Mig and the Fixer have all given me a ride. The last couple of times I have been pretty loopy much to my friends joy. So, side effects are nausea and headache...since we have been on an X kick lately. here is vintage X doing Nausea.
OK-so far, I am not liking the shock treatments....I have had seven sessions so far. The Doc told me today they would be doing 4 more at this dosage which is maxed out for the unilateral treatment and then reassess.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

historia del la musica rock

OK-I am about 12 hours post ECT treatment #5. More on that tomorrow. Tonight, I plan on a stream of conscious load of batshit craziness. This will be fueled by Topo Chico and Peppered Beef Jerky that my folks brought me from Bucc-ees yesterday. They drove up San Antonio to have lunch with me and they also got to meet The Benevolent Gnome and the Fixer. I had not see my folks since before my most recent meltdown that landed me in the care of the Gnome, the Fixer, and the Honey Badger.
If you have never been to Bucc-ees, you should probably quit reading this and immediately drive there, get some jerky and a multi-flavored slurpee.
Bucc-ees is a ginormous truck stop made out of gummi bears, cheetos, bbq, breakfast tacos, crude oil and poor white trash sweat. It is against the law in Texas to not stop at Bucc-ees if it lies in betwixt where you is and where you is going.

Historia Dela Musica Rock is a series of records put out by Decca that would put a pic of a band like say, Procol Harum, who's biggest hit was "Whiter Shade of Pale" . They are also one of the progressive rock fore runners which makes them absolutely useless to me as I loathe prog rock with one minor caveat for a few select cuts by King Crimson. Decca put out 100 of the Historia records. You can find the complete list here.  No big surprises except for a couple of also rans....I will let you read through the list and decide for yourself. Pussy Galore put a record out to mock the series, or pay tribute as the case may be, they broke up soon after.
more tomorrow....

Saturday, April 11, 2015

TRUE LOVE IS THE DEVIL'S CROWBAR and don't throw beer on Billy's guitar!

Working from DogRanch Central today, so no mental health crap today. One of my all time favorite bands is playing at the Mohawk (assuming it does not get rained out).

X came out of Los Angeles, California in the late 70's/early 80's and their first 4 albums:

Los Angeles
Wild Gift
Under the Big Black Sun
More Fun in the New World

are pretty much fucking great. Under the Big Black Sun is on the turntable right now.Right now, this album is my favorite X album.

I saw X for the first time at a place called Clubfoot in Austin, Texas (1983 I think).  I was living in San Antonio at the time and my leg was in a cast secondary to a misunderstanding with a rather larger, drunk, pissed off bouncer from Raw Power and Light, a punk rock club on San Pedro Ave. in SA. In my fervent wish to get away from this guy, I kicked him flat footed in the thigh and broke my foot.

So I rode up to Austin with some other folks and hobbled my way up to the front of the club. I was struggling to get through the entrance (I remember it as a ramp but it could of been stairs, it was a fuck of a long time ago) when Exene Cervenka and Billy Zoom came up on either side of me and asked if I needed help. I was fairly dumbfounded and they helped me into the club and up to the stage and deposited me next to the band on the stage so I would not get trampled by the hoi poloi. Pretty fucking cool when you have your punk rock idols looking out for you.

The Big Boys, the kings of Austin's Punk Rock Scene opened up for X that night. I think this is the flyer though I could be wrong, like I said, it was a long time ago:

After the Big Boys finished, X came on stage and launched into their set. At some point, some idiot threw a beer on Billy Zoom.  Billy did not really care about the beer getting on him but to get beer on his precious '55 Gretsch Silverjet:

that is a fucking crime. Billy rested his guitar on his amp, jumped off the stage and took off after the beer thrower and chased him out of the club. Chris Gates of the Big Boys got on the mike and warned the crowd that any other similar shenanigans would end badly for the perpetrator. Chris is a big guy so I think everyone behaved after that.

A couple of years ago, in a chance meeting with John Doe, I asked him about that show. He remembered it well. He told me Billy only traveled with that one guitar and other than a time period when the guitar was stolen (it got returned), it is the only guitar he pretty much has ever played in his career with X.

So, X is one of my favorite musical acts of all time, I'm going to see them tonight and I will not be throwing a beer on Billy Zoom and I don't feel sorry for anyone who does cuz even though  Billy is 67 years old now, the odds are in his favor of kicking said thrower's ass.

Friday, April 10, 2015

TODAY, ELECTRICITY IS NOT MY FRIEND, Porter Waggoner's Johnson,. The Best Record Ever Put to Vinyl and Other Musings...

Ok, three sessions of ECT done, who knows how many more to go. Today is a bad one so far. The headache is far worse than the last two sessions this week and the the profound sense of sadness, despair and fatigue is way more prevalent as well and much worse than the last two times. The rubbery legs are worse today as well. I walked over to Once Over, my second office (otherwise known as the hovel where Luna and I reside) on South First to work on this. I have a standing rule to not muse on my mental health struggles at my home office, plus I have been going to Once Over pretty much every day since it's been open, I am fond of all the worker bees there and they are kind and at the very least pretend to be interested in my fucked up adventures.

I've posted some links to ECT in the previous blogs. This one is linked to WEB MD. I have not read it yet because my reading ability seems to have been blottoed by the ECT this week. It may be complete bullshit, which I am profoundly sorry for. That's fucking bullshit, I'm not sorry at all.

Sorry this entry is so gosh darn dour but my self-deprecation seems to have been obliterated as well today. This is gonna be a short one boyos and girlos.

This journey was started by a self admission to the Brackenridge Psychiatric ER one week ago. The fine, very cool, extremely kind and compassionate folks at Seton Shoal Creek that run Austin's ECT program suggested this method as to get plugged into the system much quicker than trying to meander in the outpatient method. The Fixer took me in ( I promise a more in depth treatise on the Mental Health Team who are shepherding me through this most recent battle against Bob (my brain, more on that later as well). The above platitudes are honest and forthright... they really are fucking awesome people. The lady who handles all the entry work, who's name is escaping me at the moment (ahhh, there is that ECT memory fuckiness)..I texted The Fixer, soon as she texts me back, I will supply the name of this angel of joltiness. She has a signed poster of Princess Leia who has gone through multiple ECT sessions to battle her depression. My good friend Red Beard says I am in good company, indeed I am.

The experience at the Brack end of this adventure basically sucked Donkey Dicks. (by the way, do not hit this link if you would be offended by by a picture of a sombrero wearing donkey with his johnson (maybe bigger that Porter Waggoner,s even) hanging out. Ok, I just spent the last twenty minutes trying to find a picture of Porter Waggoner's bulge but Google images is not cooperating. So, here is a shot of Porter Waggoner's Rubber Room.

 Which is of course very fitting. You will just have to trust me that the stories of Porter Waggoner's giant phallus are legend, so much so that Nudie, Nashville's suit maker to the stars had to account for his dress to the right and make sure he had enough bedazzled fabric in the crotch area.

Oh the great lady at Seton Shoal Creek Electric works is named Vance. Thanks Fixer.

By the way, I know there are numerous syntax and spelling errors in these bloggo entries...sorry, ( ok, not really)...maybe someday I will have the energy and wherewithal to fix them, but I doubt it.

OK, time to vacate the satellite office, walk over to the End of an Ear, my favorite vinyl record store and check if that Spanish First Pressing of The Clash's London Calling (probably the best album ever recorded, but I will consider briefly and disregard arguments otherwise).
Ok, gonna quit torturing the possibly three people who read this fine drivel. 

More on the Seton Shoal Creek Electrical Engineers next time.

More to follow...have the kind of weekend you want to have, or not, I really don't want to cast any aspersions on anyone's right to have a shitty weekend.

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Electricity to the Brain is our Friend

I just got back to the ranch. I received my first two Electroconvulsive Therapy  treatments this past week, the first on Monday, the second yesterday. I go back three times per week for a few weeks for more treatments. This is for my on going battle with depression that keeps trying to kill me.  I'll be posting a lot more on this in the near future but today, I am exhausted and I go back fro number three tomorrow.  I hope to talk my fellow lover of The Clash, DR. Garcia, to let me video a session so everyone can see it.  Until then, I am going to take a nap and wait for Luna to get back home.